Best Story-Email Copywriting Samples For Beginners
Written by: Wali Qasemi
Do you want to write a story email copy to boost your conversions and sales?
I reveal a proven copywriting formula that helped me write story emails that convert into sales.
This formula is called PAS (Problem, Agitate, Solution), and it's created by Dan Kennedy, a famous copywriter and marketing expert.
The purpose of this formula is to attract people's attention and persuade them to take action.
I love this formula very much because it's very easy to follow for story email copywriting and beginner-friendly.
How To Use PAS Formula For Story Email Copywriting?
As I told you above, PAS stands for (problem, agitate, solution), and it's my favorite framework for story email copywriting.
Here, I show you step-by-step how to follow the PAS formula to write a high-converting email copy.
Step 1: Problem
Introduce a character who suffered from a related problem that your current email subscribers are dealing with in the context of a story.
Step 2: Agitation
Agitate the problem by highlighting the pain points and consequences of not addressing it. This will stir the emotions in your target audience.
Step 3: Solution
Resolve the story by showing how the character discovered and used your product or service to overcome their problem, leading to a positive outcome.
Read the 3 samples of story emails below:
Sample 1: Weight Loss Solution
Subject Line: How John Lost 30 Pounds In 4 Weeks
Problem:
Hey [Name],
John was a digital marketing expert who was 200 pounds overweight and couldn't function properly.
He always wanted to achieve a slimmer body, but a slower metabolism, too much toxic fat on his belly, and insomnia ruined the quality of his life.
Agitation:
Sadly, John's blood vessels were full of fat, which caused him to feel severe pain in his chest during the night. Moreover, he was suffering from high blood pressure (180/100).
John was wandering to find a solution to his obesity; otherwise, his heart would stop functioning.
Solution:
Finally, John discovered a new weight-loss solution that turned his body into a slimmer shape quickly.
This proven fat-burner boosted his metabolism by 300% without calorie restrictions.
He lost 40 pounds in 4 weeks, naturally.
Want to achieve a slim body like John? Click here to discover the new weight-loss solution.
Enjoy!
David Abraham
Sample 2: Personal Story
Subject Line: Best Passive Income System Revealed
Problem:
Hi [Name],
I lost my job at CBC Bank in 2019 due to the cronavirus pandemic, and I suffered financially.
The world completely closed, and I couldn't find an online job to continue my normal life.
Agitation:
Moreover, I was $50,000 in debt, and I was very depressed about how to settle my loans and start saving for my future.
I only had $400 in my bank account, and I wasn't able to pay my bills on time. I was receiving emails, messages, and calls from different companies to pay their dues.
I was seeking ways to make money in order to fulfill my basic needs and clear my bills.
Solution:
Suddenly, I searched on Google for "How to Make Money Online" and found an affiliate marketing system with 20 real testimonials and reviews.
I bought the system for $150 and took step-by-step action to make my first dollar online.
Slowly, I made $2,000 in the first month and $3,500 in the second month without a product, website, or technical skill.
Finally, in 8 months, I cleared all my unpaid bills and settled 50% of my debts.
Go Here To Check This Proven Affiliate Marketing System
Thank you,
John Smith
Sample 3: Skin Care Product
Subject Line: New Discovery: Get Rid of Acne In 6 Weeks
Problem:
Hey [Name],
Do you want to clear your skin from acne?
Discover the success story of Sarah, who cleaned up her skin from acne and pimples with a new discovery.
She has been suffering from acne for almost 7 years now, and she has tried expensive solutions such as various creams and laser therapies that didn't help her.
Agitation:
Her acne was so bad that it gave her such a severe headache whenever she put her head on the pillow to sleep during the night.
Solution:
One day her friend, Sima, introduced her to "Acne Solve," a new product that targeted the root cause of her acne and ultimately helped her achieve glowing skin.
When she applied the "Acne-Solve," her acne and pimples were dissolving day by day.
Within 6 weeks, her skin cleared up of toxic acne, and Sarah achieved the angel-like face that she had dreamed of.
Are you suffering from acne?
Check out The Acne solve!
Regards,
James Jackson
5 Tips for a Better Story Email Writing with the PAS Formula
Here are 5 tips you can follow to write high-converting story email copy with the PAS formula.
1. Introduce A Character
Introduce a character or a hero who achieved some success by using your product or service.
This allows your target audience to believe in your product and relate themselves to the hero.
You can find a character for story emails by using the testimonials, success stories, and reviews given by real people.
2. State The Benefits
Always mention the benefits of your product and services in the story email because it gives people results.
For example, this weight loss solution boosted her metabolism by 300% without exercising or taking calories.
stating the benefits of the product or service in the email prepares the reader's mind to feel the outcome and check out the product via the link.
3. Write an Attention-Grabbing Subjet Line
Write an attractive subject line that causes the reader to stop scrolling and open the email.
If your subject line is not attractive, your readers will not open your email, and as a result, they will open your competitor's email to read.
If you want to write an attractive subject line for email marketing, I invite you to read my article here.
4. Test Your Email
Always test your email before sending it to your email list for deliverability problems.
First, send your test email to two email addresses to check where it lands.
If it lands in the inbox or primary tab for Gmail, then it's good; otherwise, you should change your subject line or a little bit of your email body to land the email in the inbox.
I recommend you take an email marketing course because it teaches you the techniques of writing persuasive emails that people will enjoy reading and take action upon.
Additionally, an email marketing course will help you master the foundations of email marketing and deliverability, which are very important.
Conclusion
I love using the PAS formula for story email copywriting because it persuades the reader to take action.
PAS stands for problem, agitate, and solution. This formula helps my email copy convert into sales.
Introducing a character and stating the benefits of your product or service in the story email motivates the reader to feel the outcome and take action.
Do you want to become a copywriter like a pro? Check out my favorite copywriting course here.
About Me...
Hey, I'm Wali Qasemi, an email marketing expert and active affiliate marketer. I have been in the digital marketing space since 2014. I will help you make money online using only your email address. Read More...
Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you click on the link and make a purchase. Please note that I only recommend products or services that I personally use and believe will add value to my readers. Your support helps keep this blog running and allows me to continue creating valuable content. Thank you for your support!
Copyright © 2025 Waliqasemi.com • Privacy policy • Terms and Conditions • Disclaimer